I know now that in order to make my wish come true, it is not, as is often claimed, necessary to really believe in it! Not even to believe in yourself! I can, when I get tired of trying and after having exhausted all the strength, give up and let myself to those who still believe in it. And who I believe.
Because, if I have been failing at something for years, maybe the problem is in me. Therefore, I step aside and do not obstruct my desire wishing to slowly open itself and unwind, guided by a steady hand. Thus I became a mom after all. Thus, “Genesis” has become my second family.
I think I’m one of the first patients of Dr Zorica Ilić Crnogorac. This happened thanks to my colleague Sonja who, knowing how much I suffered, took me to the opening party of the clinic. My first impression was – no way can I afford this.
However, knowing how good Doctor Dr Crnogorac is and how much experience she has and how dedicated she is, Sonja made an appointment. I was shaking like a leaf. From fear. I was overwhelmed by previous bad experiences with that rough, official, condescending, big names in gynaecology, who do not see the person, but an ATM. Whose priority is not to help, but to earn money.
Their bad decision could have cost me the most. Almost the entire right ovary was removed because of an endometrial cyst in a public hospital. A year later, one of their most famous doctors examined me palpably with his fingers! and concluded that the other should be completely removed!
I came to senses at the very last moment, and with the help of my family, I left the hospital. And refused to undergo any surgery. Several other opinions showed that this was just a normal corpus luteum cyst.
“In this case castration has to be done so at to rescue your head!” I will never forgot his cold words. I have not forgotten a few private clinics, which looked at me so scared and vulnerable like vultures. I have not forgotten the apathy or indifference of the state practice. Dr Crnogorac was the first who “saw me”. And in this way she sees all her patients.
Slowly, she revealed my problems one by one and she always presented me possible solutions. Hashimoto, polycystic ovaries, hysteroscopy, polypectomy, several cysts punctures, removal of the septum … it seemed to have no end. But she calmly moved on, smiling and being gentle and full of encouragement. She kept opening new opportunities.
I was not able to do the first in vitro fertilization at the expense of the state, at her hospital and it failed. I was completely devastated because of the failure. I was overwhelmed by the same feelings that troubled me when I returned from Kamenica. I believed that I was not able to do it. That I was worthless. And that I could not even “save” my head.
In such moments, what really matters to you is someone who is going to see the situation as a new challenge, and not as a problem. Even if I had already given up from myself, she called me and asked me to give her a chance.
I often ask myself what I did to deserve this. She could not take any advantage of the situation, she had no material gains. And she gave me unbelievably much. First of all, she helped me overcome my fears which after having been neglected, seriously took root in all aspects of my life. She helped me regain my confidence, and then, empowered in such a way, to become mum!
Throughout this complex process of healing the whole team of people working there was actively involved. They respect their patients not just to save their job in the private sector, but to preserve, above all, their reputation and the reputation of their profession.
When Nikola was a year old, I took him to see Santa Claus for the first time in his life. “Genesis” sees its babies at least once a year, when it organises giving presents to children. They now have more than 2,500 babies! Zoka stepped to the podium in front of about 1000 families whose lives she had changed, and said with her voice trembling – I’m sorry, I have to read this or I’ll start crying!
I had realized this much earlier, but it was more than obvious on that day – she’s one of us. Regardless of how many problems she has solved, how many children she “has created”, what kind of career she has built, she has remained a human being. I do not know many such people. Even fewer doctors.
“I’ll help you for the first child and but for the second you have do it on your own!”, she often joked with me, to make me relaxed, and showed how much she believed that everything would be the way we wanted it. We now have Lena who surprised us! After so many years of interventions, she came alone and soon after Nikola!
Today, I am part of the team of hospital “Genesis”. My job is to regulate social media, present results, innovations, solutions that we have found in various areas of health care for women and families. I was honoured by the fact that Dr Crnogorac had trust in me. That was the second time she changed my life-for the better.
I’m sorry now for not being more active and I am sorry I did not go to the “Genesis” more often. I certainly would have shorten my path and would have become mother twice (square) much earlier. I’m glad I was right about one thing – money cannot afford such a friendship.
Ljubica Balać
